I was talking to a friend of mine who has been my other strongest rock during my divorce. She is also divorced. Her marriage lasted longer than mine. But her problems with her ex narc husband are even bigger than mine, to the point that she had to even ask for a restraining order.
“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV
That quote may apply to anyone who does not have to deal with a narcissist. But when it comes to having to deal with one, especially if he or she is your children’s parent, then you must stick to the rules for dear life. I’m learning this in a very painful way.
Things are calming down a little bit for me, I think. I have been attending training sessions at work, dealing with the last aspects of my divorce, and with some changes that have been made to my daughter’s therapy schedules. In other words, I need more than 24 hours in a day lately.
This post is more about gaslighting and mind tricks than co-parenting, actually. But since it all started with what I talked about in my last post, I decided to call it Part 2. If you haven’t read my last post, please do so and come back so you can understand how this all started.
I wasn’t going to post anything for a few more days. But something happened and I thought I would share. This is an example of what to expect when co-parenting with a narcissistic ex-spouse.
“Friendship is delicate as a glass: Once broken, it can be fixed; but there will always be cracks.”
It is always sad when you have to make certain decisions, such as letting go of a friendship that was important to you. But when on the road to recovery, you need to do what helps you to keep moving forward. And some of those decisions are not easy.
“Here lies Walter Fielding. He bought a house and it killed him.” (Tom Hanks in the Money Pit, 1986)
In many neighbourhoods, there is always one house that seems to be on sale more times than not. Owners don’t seem to last and you can’t help but wonder why.
“At some point, you are going to want to give up. Consider this a reminder: Don’t you dare.” ~ Karen Salmansohn
We’re approaching the final stage in our divorce and it is taking all of my strength to keep myself calm and levelheaded. I am exhausted. I have not felt like this in a very long time.
“I supposed you’re not going to get him anything for Father’s Day, are you?,” my mother asked me. No, I will not buy him anything for Father’s Day, at least not this year. But this is a question I’m sure a lot of mothers out there who were once married to their children’s narcissistic father are asking themselves, not just for Father’s Day, but for his birthday and other holidays.