I have been a little quiet lately. It is not necessarily a bad thing. Between my job and that my daughter has been staying with me for uninterrupted-parenting time, I have been very busy. And let me tell you, I have enjoyed every minute of it!
“The narcissistic parent has no conscience and no feelings for others, especially their own children. The only thing that matters is their own selfish ego: Coercing, manipulating, causing chaos, and damaging lives everywhere they go.” ~ Anonymous
My daughter is finally back with me after spending almost 2 weeks with her father. I was a bit concerned anticipating how she was going to receive me when I went to pick her up at his place after her being away from me for so long. Until now, she had never been away for more than 3 days and the last time she was gone for those many days, she was not too eager to see me.
I was talking to a friend of mine who has been my other strongest rock during my divorce. She is also divorced. Her marriage lasted longer than mine. But her problems with her ex narc husband are even bigger than mine, to the point that she had to even ask for a restraining order.
“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV
That quote may apply to anyone who does not have to deal with a narcissist. But when it comes to having to deal with one, especially if he or she is your children’s parent, then you must stick to the rules for dear life. I’m learning this in a very painful way.
Things are calming down a little bit for me, I think. I have been attending training sessions at work, dealing with the last aspects of my divorce, and with some changes that have been made to my daughter’s therapy schedules. In other words, I need more than 24 hours in a day lately.
This post is more about gaslighting and mind tricks than co-parenting, actually. But since it all started with what I talked about in my last post, I decided to call it Part 2. If you haven’t read my last post, please do so and come back so you can understand how this all started.
I wasn’t going to post anything for a few more days. But something happened and I thought I would share. This is an example of what to expect when co-parenting with a narcissistic ex-spouse.
“Friendship is delicate as a glass: Once broken, it can be fixed; but there will always be cracks.”
It is always sad when you have to make certain decisions, such as letting go of a friendship that was important to you. But when on the road to recovery, you need to do what helps you to keep moving forward. And some of those decisions are not easy.
“Here lies Walter Fielding. He bought a house and it killed him.” (Tom Hanks in the Money Pit, 1986)
In many neighbourhoods, there is always one house that seems to be on sale more times than not. Owners don’t seem to last and you can’t help but wonder why.