To continue this string of holidays, special days, birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and take overs, I remember yet another thing that happened on my last birthday while I was still married and I knew nothing about his plans to get a divorce.
“I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself – and the kangaroo.” ~ Mark Twain
And talking about parties, I am so glad my daughter is not aware of some things that go around her. But I do not know how much longer she will continue to do so. In fact, she is very aware of many things going around, only that because of her being autistic, she does not say anything about them, yet. But as she gets older, it won’t be as easy for her father to hide things from me. And she will start to express her likes and dislikes better and clearer than now, as she is still very young and non-verbal.
It is like a dam got open and nothing can stop the water coming through. The last days, lots of memories have been popping their heads from the cementery were I had buried them long time ago. I guess they were not that dead after all.
“I grew to understand that people don’t always build walls to keep others out. There are times when it is done out of necessity to protect whatever is left within.”
It never stops to amaze me how much we bury in our memories in an effort to cope and survive our relationship with the narc in our lives.
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” ~ Albert Einstein
This week is the 5th anniversary of my becoming a U.S. citizen. This anniversary did not come on times of peace and understanding. It is quite a different world from when I first arrived to the United States. Those were the days of relative peace. Everybody went by minding their own business. A few months later, the world and especially this country was turned upside down when airplanes became weapons.
“I am learning to trust the journey, even when I do not understand it.” ~ Mila Bron
I made a point of staying away from social media on Mother’s Day. I actually didn’t even check anything online yesterday, not e-mail, not the news, not Whatsapp, no Facebook, nothing. I didn’t want to be reminded of what Mother’s Day wasn’t for me.
“Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life in his own terms.”
~ Elizabeth Bower (Irish Novelist – 1899-1973)
No other day of the year is a bigger trigger for me than Mother’s Day.
“The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are: Hard work, Stick-to-itiveness, and Common Sense.” ~ Thomas Alba Edison (American Inventor, 1847-1931)
I think I’m going to throw the parenting common-sense book out the window. Apparently, common sense and consideration have no room in parenting with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD.) I should know that by now; however, for the sake of my child, I seem to be hanging to a small thread of unfounded hope.
“To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.” ~ Hubert H. Humphrey (American Politician)
Ann, a fellow blogger, shared one of her latest experiences with her narcissistic husband. Reading her blog post reminded me of so many things that happened to me with my own husband. I then started to type a comment to her post. Unfortunately, it ended up being so long that I decided to create a whole post in my own blog to share, instead.
Has your partner, friend or family member ever ignored you when you tried to have an important discussion or addressed something significant to them? Have you ever been silenced by a toxic person’s silent treatment? You may have experienced what is known as “stonewalling.” Stonewalling and the silent treatment are some of the most devastating forms […]
Everything mentioned in this article has happened to me, including the statement that I needed therapy made by my narc husband. I thought about sharing. I hope it can help other people who might be living it right now.
“Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time.” ~ Ransom Riggs, American author
I can’t remember when was the last time I was able to truly sleep through the night without waking up once for one or another reason. Five to six nights a week, I find myself waking up either in the middle of the night, or about an hour before the alarm, always to a dream that is about one of two themes, if not both.
I’m letting the image below speak for itself.
Good luck trying to make him or her see it differently.
“Death, taxes, and childbirth! There’s never any convenient time for any of them.” ~ Margaret Mitchell
With the deadline for filing 2017 income tax returns fast approaching, I wanted to share my (I hope) last experience filing jointly with my narc.