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No More Narchole

Narcissism: One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone is treated.

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Healing

A Dream of You

“Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time.” ~ Ransom Riggs, American author

I can’t remember when was the last time I was able to truly sleep through the night without waking up once for one or another reason. Five to six nights a week, I find myself waking up either in the middle of the night, or about an hour before the alarm, always to a dream that is about one of two themes, if not both.

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Two weeks and a whole new world

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ Dalai Lama

The last couple of weeks have been very interesting and busy. So many things happened that I do not know where to start.

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Going home

“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” ~ Buddha

What a week! I have not had time to write, so busy I have been. The main reason… drum roll, please… I am finally home!!!

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180

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~ Norman Cousins

I look at that number. It can mean so many things to people, or nothing at all. It can be an angle, a temperature, or a point in which a path turns. To me, right now, it is very significant.

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Finding my passion once again after NPD abuse

I was going to publish a post about fear and then I changed my mind. I may talk about fear sometime in the future. However, two things happened today that made me change my mind. One of them is the topic for this post. The other one, the sermon at Mass. But let’s get to it, shall we?

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Tools for Healing: Wake Up To The Word

I found this book by chance while grocery shopping at the supermarket. It was on a shelf not in the books section of the store, but amongst some other merchandise where it clearly didn’t belong. Some other person might have left it there after changing his or her mind and deciding not to buy it, which allowed for me to happen upon it. Those are the kind of things that make me think that God can sometimes act in mysterious but yet simple ways.

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Unfinished Business

I don’t know if this is a normal thing with narcissists, but my husband never finishes a task or project. I mean, my understanding of finishing a project or task includes picking after yourself, especially when it can affect other people. My husband would start a project, sometimes months after he said that he was going to start it, it would take him several days to get through it when it could have been completed in one afternoon, and then he would leave tools, trash, and everything else all over the place, for weeks.

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Getting back on the saddle

Finally, I was able to get back to the gym. After being so excited about getting back to the gym, everything started to happen. First, my daughter got sick. Then, court-mandated stuff. The days became weeks and the weeks almost became a month. I was at work and a couple of things happened. I just had to get out of there, get anywhere. The gym was the place I went to.

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Tools for Healing: Days Counter

I wasn’t going to post another entry in my Tools for Healing series this soon. However, I am so much in love with this app that I had to share it with you. Why? Because when I feel like giving up, something easy to do in the midst of a custody battle with a narcissist, I just open it and check what I’ve been able to accomplish so far. And when struggling in life, it is very tempting to want to give up. On the other hand, the app looks really sleek, too! I owe this idea to the same NPD survivor who recommended Breakup Freedom to me. However, she’s using a different days-counter app for her own counting needs that are not covered by Breakup Freedom. I found Days Counter when checking for what was out there. I do not know if they offer it for Apple phones as I only have an Android one.

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Tools for Healing: Breakup Freedom

I owe finding this tool, Breakup Freedom, to another NPD survivor. If you’re struggling going and staying No Contact, this tool might help you. In my particular case, I cannot go full no contact because we share a child. However, it is helping me stay minimal contact. I’m using the date when I got served divorce papers as my breakup date.

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Introducing The ‘Tools for Healing’ Series

When it comes to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and the consequences of being exposed to someone with it, there are the conventional ways of dealing with it, such as therapy and learning as much as possible, and the less conventional ways. I decided to start a series about what I have tried and what is working for me.

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Promise me, 10 minutes a day

Those were the last words my attorney said to me last week after we walked out from the court. I am so glad that I have found an attorney who truly understands what emotional abuse is. Now that is easier said than done. I’ve been for months trying to find time for myself, unsuccessfully.

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I finally did something for myself

I have been wanting to go back to church for the longest time. Since meeting my husband, I slowly started to not attend Mass anymore. He’s not a Catholic like me and he doesn’t really profess any faith. And I was okay with that, since I have always believed that we all have our own individual paths to walk when it comes to faith and religion. The way I see it, it will be between each one of us and God on the Day of the Final Judgment and we individually will have to be accountable for our actions or lack thereof.

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Narcula and Company

I asked other survivors if they had nicknames or pseudonyms for the narcissists in their lives. While many people will say that calling other people names is not really a good thing and lowers you to their same level, you need to put yourself in the survivor’s shoes. They do this in order to cope with their individual situation and especially during the healing stages. I hope you can understand that.

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Confronting And Working on Myself in The Face of Narcissism

As I mentioned in my previous post about Lisa A. Romano’s video about life skills, I wanted to expand and talk about my own experience. I’ll once again list the five skills she talks about in here for your reference, as follows,

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