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No More Narchole

Narcissism: One of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone is treated.

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Abuse

Mother’s Day Narcissistic Realizations

“Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life in his own terms.”
~ Elizabeth Bower (Irish Novelist – 1899-1973)

No other day of the year is a bigger trigger for me than Mother’s Day.

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Blame Shifting

“To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.” ~ Hubert H. Humphrey (American Politician)

Ann, a fellow blogger, shared one of her latest experiences with her narcissistic husband. Reading her blog post reminded me of so many things that happened to me with my  own husband. I then started to type a comment to her post. Unfortunately, it ended up being so long that I decided to create a whole post in my own blog to share, instead.

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Stonewalling And The Silent Treatment: The Narcissist’s Silence As An Abuse Tactic — Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

Has your partner, friend or family member ever ignored you when you tried to have an important discussion or addressed something significant to them? Have you ever been silenced by a toxic person’s silent treatment? You may have experienced what is known as “stonewalling.” Stonewalling and the silent treatment are some of the most devastating forms […]

via Stonewalling And The Silent Treatment: The Narcissist’s Silence As An Abuse Tactic — Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

Everything mentioned in this article has happened to me, including the statement that I needed therapy made by my narc husband. I thought about sharing. I hope it can help other people who might be living it right now.

What The Bachelor and My Narc Have in Common

“I imagine everyone wears layered masks, and parades around a variety or panoply of false selves depending on the occasion.” ~ Wendy Hoffman

I never thought that a so-called reality-TV show would provide a great opportunity to show someone how some of the abuse in my marriage took place.

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Narcissists Know What They Are Doing

I was talking to someone who has been married to a narcissistic woman. He said something that got me thinking. He believes that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) do what they do for most part as a result of their subconscious; that they don’t really know what they are doing. While I can see his point of view, I cannot agree with him.

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Ranting and raving

From the lips of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) abuse survivor.

And to all those who ask, ‘Why don’t abuse victims just leave?’ I say, ‘Shouldn’t you be asking why abusers choose to abuse, instead?’

https://wp.me/p8FeAy-sG

Drained

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” ~ Anonymous

Sometimes, I can’t help but find myself asking the same question over and over again, “How did I get here?” It is a dangerous thing to do, if I am not in a certain emotional state. Today, it is one of those days when I shouldn’t be asking myself that question. However, the answers are flowing one after the other one and at an incredible speed.

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Leave my daughter out of it

“Lies don’t end a relationship; the truth does.” ~ Shannon L. Addler

If you take a look at many of the support groups out there for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) abuse, you will quickly find a victim relating a story of how quickly their ex has found another person (read replacement,) and how much they seem to be in love.

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Ten pennies make a dime in a dozen

“Money, money, money / Always sunny / In the rich man’s world” ~ (‘Money, Money, Money,’ by ABBA, 1976)

Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) use every resource at hand to control their partners. Finances is probably one of the most powerful ones. I was very fortunate to keep my financial independence through my marriage. Others are less fortunate. I feel for them.

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Tools for Healing: My Affirmations

Where to start? All I can say is that I love this application!!! It’s very simple and it is gorgeous!

When it comes to healing from abuse, alternative healing methods could make the difference. I am not discarding therapy for those who need it. That’s not what I’m talking about. In fact, you could recourse to other healing and coping methods in-between appointments.

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When the tables are turned

~ Love doesn’t hurt. Lying, cheating, and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurt.

How great it feels when you can finally show the narcissist in your life that their threats and insults just slide from you like nothing. I still have a long way to go. However, the argument we had the other night has proven that I have come a long way from where I was about 3 years ago.

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Gaslight Revisited

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” ~ Nelson Mandela

I don’t know if all Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) victims and survivors are subjected to a lot of gaslight or not. But in my particular case, I should be at the level of a Subject Matter Expert (SME) at this point. However, that’s not the case. I am still having “Ah, ha!” moments when it comes to gaslight.

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Save Water: Share The Shower With Your Narc

That’s what my husband, the narcissist, is accusing me of and on what he’s basing the whole divorce petition. Of being an extremely controlling person. It’s interesting how they accuse you of the very things they do to you. This past weekend, I remember how I would not even get to be by myself when I needed it, even in the bathroom.

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Forgive

That’s the definition of forgive by Merriam-Webster. I am having problems with forgiveness. I’ll go step by step. Let’s look at the first explanation of the word forgive, as follows,

to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult>

If I am to be honest, I have to say that many of the things my husband has done to me are insults. He may have not used insulting words, but he lied to me, he distorted my reality, he has disrespected me. By doing all of that, he has basically broken his vow to love me. And this is something difficult to forgive and I have resented him for doing all of that and more.

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