I found this book by chance while grocery shopping at the supermarket. It was on a shelf not in the books section of the store, but amongst some other merchandise where it clearly didn’t belong. Some other person might have left it there after changing his or her mind and deciding not to buy it, which allowed for me to happen upon it. Those are the kind of things that make me think that God can sometimes act in mysterious but yet simple ways.
I was in a very dark place that day. What are the chances of finding a book like that, opening it up randomly, and reading exactly what you need to read so as to get you out of the darkness a little bit and give you much-needed solace and comfort? It just doesn’t happen. Or does it? And the only reason why I noticed the book was because it was out of place and, the way my brain works, I tend to notice right away things that don’t belong in their surroundings. That and the beautiful, calming picture on the cover. Well, I find it beautiful. Other people may not agree and that’s okay. But I studied photography (among other things) and I tend to look at composition and other aspects of photographs that not everyone looks at and the picture on the cover radiates a soft but bright light.
In other words, I have to think now that God had much to do with my finding that book. Maybe He was even giggling when He set the whole thing up to bait me, who knows!
The concept of the book is a simple one. Each page belongs to a day: January 1, January 2, and so forth. There’s a word at the top of the page, in heading style. The word is followed be a definition, like from the dictionary. Then the author adds one or two paragraphs of her thoughts and reflections, followed by a verse or two from the bible of her choosing and appropriate to the topic at hand.
It takes far less than 5 minutes to read each page. However, meditating on the words can take quite more than that. I remember once reading the page for one particular day. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. All day, my mind kept going back to that words on that page, no matter how busy I was at work. Other days, I read the page and I’m done for the day. I guess it depends on your mood, the things you’re facing at that time of your life, who knows.
But one thing I know for sure is that, my spirit was broken from the years of being exposed to NPD and it needed healing. (Still does.) When you go through something like NPD abuse, your whole being may suffer. I know that’s the case with me. My body, my mind, my spirit, my heart, my soul, my faith… There’s no one thing that has not been affected by it.
A book like this one is helping me heal my spirit and, as a result, the rest of my being.
You can buy the book here.
Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist or an expert on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD,) PTSD, or anything of that sort. I am just an NPD survivor who is trying to navigate the healing path and would like to share her experiences in hopes of healing and helping others heal in the process, as well.